VickyC.me

You know the feeling you get when you log onto Facebook and you see a new album posted by a friend’s younger sibling, and it’s their wedding pictures. Or when there’s a status update from an ex saying that he’s taking his girlfriend to Cabo. Or there are someone’s engagement party pictures or baby shower pictures. How does it make you feel?

I’m always happy when I see that people are happy and doing well, but secretly, I’m actually a jealous crazy person. But it’s not that I’m not happy with my life right now, because I am, but I guess it really gets to me when people younger than me already have everything together. Every girl has done the “backwards life math” that makes guys think that we actually are backwards! I remember I rattled this off to my current boyfriend not long after we met and he looked at me like I had been taking some serious mind altering drugs. He thought I was a crazy person. To think that we’re still dating!! Ok lets do some girl math. For example take the following scenario: you want to be pregnant or have a baby by the time you’re 30

Ok, so no one wants to have a baby the second that they are married – we’re not the Duggers over here! So, say that we allow 2 years of married life before baby – which would put us at being married by 28.

But you want to be engaged for a year, so you have time to plan everything and throw a sufficient amount of Bridezilla hissy fits before your big day, so that means you have to be engaged by the time you’re 27.

But you don’t bump into some guy on the bus or at the grocery store and have him propose over coffee the following day.. Again, we’re not the Duggers here! You need to date for 2-3 years before you get engaged. I mean, he needs to know your style in order to know what kind of diamond to buy you.. Hello!

So that puts us at having to know the guy (or at least know of him) when you’re 24-25 in order for the backwards math list to work. What that tells me is that I’m behind schedule!!!

Christ, maybe I should become a Dugger..! It would take all of the stress out of everything! They don’t  lark about; they just pick their mate and stick with it.. Kinda like penguins or swans or something.. I don’t remember which animal it is that mates for life. Regardless, I’m secretly jealous of their lives too. Yeah, I said it!

Like they’re so pure and un-jaded by TV and society. They don’t seem to worry about waiting in line at H&M to buy the newest pair of Jimmy Choos. Yet they do have the sickest cameras and they all have iPhones… ?! But they don’t spend time fretting over Facebook or picking apart a text message or voicemail from a boy. And they’re pretty much guaranteed life as a housewife – which would be great. I mean come on, what woman wants to juggle a career with babies and housework etc? I certainly don’t.. I guess I’ll have to start buying lotto tickets and buying scratchies..

Tags: Babies, Backwards, Birth, Crazy, Duggers, Engagement, Facebook, Girl, Happy, Jealous, Jealousy, Life, Marriage, Math, Modern Life, VickyC, VickyC.me, Wedding, Woman

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 27th, 2010 at 8:52 pm and is filed under Articles. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.